Kevin White's Brain Factory

I Tried To Make Amends…

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I made the TERRIBLE mistake of deleting someone on Facebook .OH MY GOD! How will we ever go on?! Without going into too much detail, I was dating this girl, we broke up and now she is dating a buddy of mine. I deleted them both because I didn’t want to be constatntly reminded of every time they went to lunch or made a new inside joke. I’m sure anyone reading this would’ve done the same.  So, some time had passed and I saw that they were getting along and it honestly made me happy.  I like both of these people and if they make each other happy then who am I to get hung up on things not working out? Bottom Line: Good For Them.  Just consider me Cupid in a weird backwards kinda way.  HOWEVER, after coming to terms with all of this I decide I am ready to re-engage them in the virtual world that is Facebook. Yay!  But they both deny my friend request. I find this odd since this is the modern day equivelant of extending an olive branch.  A week or so later I see them both at a bar and after some small talk I go ahead and ask the guy in the relationship, “Why didn’t you accept my friend request?” and he replied blankly, “Because you deleted me and I don’t care enough to accept you again.”  This holds two main issues with me:  1.) Saying it’s just becuase I deleted you goes against the second half of that statement which is… “I don’t care enough to accept you again.” 2.) If you didn’t care enough then why are you making a stand my NOT accepting me?  It’s an oxymoron and you are coming off as a hypocrite.  I tried to press the issue but he came off rather defensive and bully-ish so I decided to just agree to disagree and find a common ground that ‘Yes it IS stupid so what does it matter anyway?’ but what I still don’t understand is if it really isn’t that big of a deal, then WHY would he make such a big deal of it in the first place?  This whole thing is pretty ridiculous and probably too long winded to read, but if you made it this far let me just tell you that no matter what people say, they are more sensitive than they seem AND what happens online directly affects what happens in real life. Beware.

A Blurb About Conan

So Conan is now officially off the air.  What a bummer.  He will be missed but I don’t feel that sad.  I think we all know he is going to be just fine. *knock on wood* I can’t wait to see what he does next in his career.  Will he do another talk show?  After all this Tonight Show drama, he may not want to host a talk show ever again.  Will he go into acting?  I doubt it, but stranger things have happened (Steven Segal becoming a cop, for one).  Will he just disappear off the face of the earth and never be heard form again until a “Where Are They Now?” show uncovers that he blew all his money on original prints of Encyclopedia Britannica, Hitler’s uniform, and Abe Lincoln’s hat (he is a history buff).  What about his staff?  Where will they go?  I am sure the writers will all have an easy enough time finding new writing gigs, but still, a gap in employment is scary.  Max Weinberg often tours with Bruce Springsteen, but what about the rest of the band?  Since NBC now owns the rights to all the characters created on that show, does that mean we will never again see Triumph the Insult Comic Dog give an interview or list off the nominees for an award?  Or do since that is Robert Smigel’s character, does he get to keep it?  Then there are the fans.  Will Conan still be remembered after his 7 month hiatus?  Of course.  But they will (probably) have to work hard to re-grow their fan base outside of the diehard loyalists.  But “CoCo” seems to be up for it and so does everyone else I have talked to.  So here it is…  Raise your glasses…  A toast to new beginnings.

Roll The Dice by Charles Bukowski

Roll the Dice

if you’re going to try, go all the
way.
otherwise, don’t even start.

if you’re going to try, go all the
way.
this could mean losing girlfriends,
wives, relatives, jobs and
maybe your mind.

go all the way.
it could mean not eating for 3 or 4 days.
it could mean freezing on a
park bench.
it could mean jail,
it could mean derision,
mockery,
isolation.
isolation is the gift,
all the others are a test of your
endurance, of
how much you really want to
do it.
and you’ll do it
despite rejection and the worst odds
and it will be better than
anything else
you can imagine.

if you’re going to try,
go all the way.
there is no other feeling like
that.
you will be alone with the gods
and the nights will flame with
fire.

do it, do it, do it.
do it.

all the way
all the way.

you will ride life straight to
perfect laughter, its
the only good fight
there is.

- Charles Bukowski

Free Form Writing 12-10-09

“Let’s not leave it in the hallway.” – Johnny Carson

Johnny Carson used to say that to Ed McMahon before doing the Tonight Show so as to not squander any possibly good dialogue between the two.  I like that.  Has nice ring to it.  I am currently trying to write material about my mom.  It’s kinda hard as it is with anything that I am personally familiar with.  I don’t know a lot of times when I am writing funny listenable material or when I am just simply selfishly just talking about something.  I have made a list of things that, off the top of my head, seem viable for some jokes.  Almost half of which are times she dealt out her own unique form of justice.  Maybe I should list things she did and then make up some for the end of the list that sound TOO ridiculous…  Maybe.  Also right now I am trying a new way of writing for me which I heard from Don Roos (who hasn’t done anything I like, so we will see how long I keep this up.) on the website MakingOf.com.  I thought it would be a lot more in-depth as far as “inside advice” goes, but it is still kind of cool.  The method he talks about is having two projects open on your computer screen.  On one side is the actual project you are working on, whereas the other side has a free-form writing document where you can write all the silly jibba jabba you want.  I think its to ensure steady momentum even if you aren’t really writing about anything.  Seems like a good idea to me, so here I am.  I also like the idea that, if one document doesn’t have a lot written yet, it doesn’t feel like I am just staring at a blank page waiting for inspiration to hit.  As I have learned time and time again, that is NOT the way to write.  You won’t get anywhere and just give up.  I feel pretty proud of myself for ignoring the episode of 30 Rock that Lynn is watching right now and sticking to my guns with this whole writing thing.  Good for me.  Yay.

Free Form Writing 12-1-09

I mean really, could you imagine the possible social repercussions of not checking your Facebook for a day?  Planets would fall right out of space, the clouds would stop taking shapes and drying machine exhaust in the winter would stop feeling great.  Actually I wrote that because I had to convince myself that I should do some free form writing before checking my Facebook I can actually do it and not have anything clouding my mind.  I really wish I remembered to do this more.  It feels good to be writing even if it is about nothing.  The paintings Matt Grant is working on to be used as posters for the show are looking fucking phenomenal!  I really feel lucky to know such talented people.

Oh shit, I almost stopped writing and got sucked into the black hole that is YouTube.  Whew!  That was a close one!

So I’ve got a zit on the inside of my ear and it is fuckinginginginginginginginginginging KILLING ME!!!  Why do pimples on some parts of your body hurt more than other parts?  I wouldn’t consider the inside of my ear to be a “sensitive” place but, here we are.

…Dammit, it’s been over an hour of me not writing.  I got all sidetracked and whatnot and now I feel like I am starting all over.  I woke up and said, “Kevin, you are going to write one full page before you do anything else!”  and then 20 minutes later I was all, “Kevin, never mind!  You suck at following direction!”

11-19-09

Holy shit I feel fucking awful.  I went to the social services office yesterday to try and get food stamps, forgot I had to work, showed up an hour and a half late, got really drunk at the bar afterwards, and now I’m hungover.  And I didn’t even write last night like I promised myself I would.  I really suck.  Now I think I am going to take the $60 I made last night and go buy Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2.  I probably should save my money but it’s pretty much been all I think about since I played it at Jason’s. I suck.